Recipe of the Week: It's a Fiesta!

I am always looking for new, healthy recipe ideas that will satisfy me, my somewhat picky husband and a my 3 year old. I am never afraid to experiment or try a new recipe. Through lots and lots of trial and error, I have found many recipes that are "keepers" and are archived in my family recipe book. I will try and post a new healthy, family-friendly recipe each week. As you try them, feel free to let me know how your family liked them--especially the little ones!



Homemade Low-Fat Tortilla Chips and Guacamole in the Bag

Oven Baked, Low Fat Tortilla Chips
Since we have been making these chips, we can never go back to the store brand tortilla chips. They have 7 grams less fat than regular tortilla chips per serving and A LOT less sodium if you go easy on the salt.

20 small corn tortillas
Olive oil spray
Sea Salt

- Preheat oven to 375
- Spray baking sheets with olive oil spray
- Cut tortillas in triangles (quarters)
- Arrange tortillas in an even layer on baking sheets. Spray with olive oil spray and sprinkle with sea salt.
- Bake at 375 about 10-15 minutes until golden brown and crispy.
- Chips can be made ahead and stored a week or more in an airtight container or resealable plastic bag.

Guacamole in the Bag
** I know this one is kid friendly because Brooke would eat the whole bowl if we let her!

- 2 ripe avocados
- Juice of half a lime
- 2 tablespoons minced cilantro (or to taste)
- 2-4 tablespoons of canned, diced tomatoes, well drained (i know, canned tomatoes sounds weird but it really works! Of course you can use fresh, too)
- 1 teaspoon of sea salt (or to taste)
- 1-2 teaspoons store-bought guac mix

- Combine all ingredients in a large Ziploc bag; seal.
- Mash together with your hands until completely combined and desired consistency; transfer to serving bowl; taste;reseason
- Refrigerate about an hour to allow flavors to marry or serve immediately with your homemade chips!

Being a P.C. Parent

It's not what you think. I don't care whether you're Politically Correct or not. I highly doubt that type of "PC" has any affect on your parenting abilities. The "PC" I am referring to is a reference in The Baby Whisperer series that stands for Patience and Consciousness--two skills that are absolutely essential to good parenting.

Patience: If you're a mom of a child of ANY age--from 4 weeks to 4,000 weeks, you understand that parenting demands patience. Some people, Pre-School and Kindergarten teachers in particular, are born with patience. They could have a classroom full of kids--some kids have decided it would be fun to paint each other green over at the art station, in the class library area two kids are screaming over a book, another kid just spilled an 1,000 piece puzzle, Susie is whining she has to go to the bathroom--and still this teacher is smiling and calmly speaking with a parent telling her that yes, Johnny is doing just GREAT in her class. Nothing ruffles her feathers. For the other 99% of us--patience is a learned skill.

I recently heard the quote, "With kids, the days are long but the years are short." If you take a step back from the daily hustle and bustle of parenting, it seems like days are weeks and weeks are years. I remember when I was in the midst of potty training Brooke. I was hunched over her potty chair begging her to poop and she simply refused. I remember being in TEARS thinking my kid is NEVER, EVER going to poop in the potty, convinced she'd be going to go to middle school with Pull Ups. Then a few days later, she pooped and I realized I had technically only been trying to potty train her for a little over a WEEK!! Why did it seem like 5 years??! And when you're in the heat of taking care of a newborn, why does it seem like it's taking a YEAR for them to sleep through the night when really, it's a few months or less??? Patience, my friend. This too shall pass.

When your kids get a little older, patience takes on a whole new meaning. Ever tried to leave the house with a 3 year old? Putting on shoes "by herself"=3 minutes. Going pee "by herself"=3 minutes. Get a drink or snack "by herself"=4 minutes. 10 minutes later you can FINALLY leave but then you realize that YOU have to pee and get a snack! Of course, you could do all of this for her-put on her shoes, take her to the potty and grab a snack in under a minute--and sometimes that is what you HAVE to do. But the majority of the time, kids should learn to do things for themselves. That's how they learn. They'll never learn to put their shoes on the right feet if you are constantly doing it for them. It's important for us to take a step back and not be in such a rush to rescue our kids at every moment. Our job as parents is to effectively guide our children, not to specifically show them the way every single time. Our lack of patience often gets in the way of everyday learning opportunities for our kids.

Consciousness: The word conscious is defined as "being aware of one's existence, thoughts and surroundings." As parents, we need to become extremely conscious of our little one's existence, thoughts and surroundings. That may seem like a no-brainer, but is it?

How well do you tune into your baby? Have you learned her cries, her quirks, what sets her off? What's her overall style? Content? Grumpy? Easygoing? Feisty? Touchy? Active? It's important to know our kids as who they ARE, not who we want them to be. Learn WHO your child is and appreciate, accept and nurture it. Learning this takes time and a heightened sense of awareness--something that cannot be accomplished if you're just going through the motions everyday. Slow down. OBSERVE. LISTEN to your kids. From the moment they come into the world, if you pay close attention they will tell you something about their personality every single day.

Being a conscious parent also means being aware of what you say and do with your child. How do you speak to your child? Is your tone generally that of respect? Or are you constantly trying to fix, criticize or correct your child? Do you take time to actually sit and talk with your child or are most of your days so busy you only have time "go through the motions" of school, soccer, dinner, homework, bath and bed? How much do you talk to your child? How much do you listen? How consistent are you with your child? Is his bedtime 7pm one day and 10pm the next? Do you give into his whining one day but not the other? Do you put him in timeout for talking back to you one day but let it slide the next?

The more you are aware of what you do as a parent, the better you will be able to troubleshoot various problems throughout your child's life. A (teeny) tiny part of me wishes I had an invisible camera crew around to record my interactions with my kids. I don't want to end up like the Gosslins, though so I guess I'll pass on the camera crew. I do however, try to reflect on my parenting everyday. I am my biggest critic. That's how we learn and get better at something. After all, none of us were born perfect parents. And none of us were born knowing how to BE a parent.

Our kids need our patience and their need us to be tuned into them (conscious). Both take practice but both can make us happier parents which in turn, make for happier kids.

"Start As You Mean to Go On," Accidental Parenting & The Baby Whisperer

There are a zillion books on parenting out there. Most of these books are targeted to first time, clueless moms who will believe anything they read. Unfortunately, the first "go to" book most moms read after having their baby is What to Expect the First Year. After thoroughly being stressed out by What to Expect When You're Expecting, moms somehow take another blow by using What to Expect the First Year as their mini-Bible for that precious first year.

HOGG-wash, I say! Tracy Hogg, that is. She is dubbed "The Baby Whisperer" and her book, The Baby Whisperer Solves all of Your Problems has been my go-to book for Baby #2. I will present lots of her wisdom in my blogs. For those of you who are not familar with Tracy Hogg, she's a very witty, non-nonsense, yet compassionate Brit who wrote several New York Times best selling Baby Whisperer books before passing away from melanoma in 2004. Hogg advocates putting your baby on a structured, flexible routine from Day 1. Hogg states, "It is not a schedule because you cannot always fit a baby into a clock. A routine gives the day structure and makes family life consistent, which is important because all of us, children and adults, babies and toddlers, thrive on predictability. Everyone benefits." Essentially, Hogg is on the same page as Ezzo's Babywise philosphy however, Hogg presents a kinder, gentler version of Babywise.

The first bit of wisdom Hogg presents is her theory that often parents who are struggling with the three main "parenting problems" (sleeping, eating and behavior) have often fallen into "accidental parenting"--which is simply parents starting bad habits that they later have to break. I don't care what any of the What to Expect books tell you about not being able to "spoil" a baby under three months--it's definitely possible and I am living proof! Brooke came out of the womb feisty--unlike Will, she was not a baby who was born "knowing how to sleep." For three months Scott and I held, rocked and bounced her to sleep for nearly every nap and bedtime. For the first six weeks, I was OK with this. After all, wasn't I supposed to hold and comfort my baby whenever she needed me? Around six weeks I had a nervous breakdown because I was so tired of this "cajoling to sleep" routine and by three months, my back hurt so much from carrying a 98th percentile baby that I could hardly get out of bed. But I guess she wasn't spoiled??? HA!!! Perhaps "spoiled" is not the right word, but she had definitely gotten used to her sleep routine that involved Scott and I aiding her sleep every single time. It wasn't her fault--although our intentions were good, we never taught her to fall asleep on her own.

Hogg uses a great phrase, "Start as you mean to go on." Simply put, don't create bad habits that you will have to break later. Just start with what you want. If you want your child to fall asleep on her own without you holding her, teach her to do this from Day 1 (there are various ways, not just Cry It Out). If you don't want your child to become dependent on a pacifier, don't stick it in her mouth every time she makes a peep. Although many "habits" can be broken much easier at three months than say, nine months, why even START a habit you'll have to fix later? Accidental parenting is the root of many problems parents face. Here are the two main ways well-meaning parents can unknowingly become an accidental parent:

1) Being inconsistent/changing the rules: One day, you allow your child to eat on the couch, the next day you yell at her for spilling her Cheerios all over the furniture and tell her to quit eating on the couch. You're mad, she's confused and frustrated. Or your child intentionally throws food off her highchair and says "uh oh!" You laugh because it it is sooooo cute for a 10 month old!! Believe me, I have numerous videos of me laughing hysterically as Brooke throws green beans, sippy cups and Cheerios off her highchair saying "uh oh!" However, when that same child is 2 years old, it's not so cute...just a lot of cleaning up!! As Hogg says, "Start as you mean to go on." Before you laugh at food flying off the highchair, think 6 months into the future and try to imagine your reaction. If you still think you'll be laughing, then that's fine. If not, set limits now and stick to them (just get a video of the incident so you can laugh later).

2) Keep providing Band-Aids: When parents are faced with a new problem, they often resort to a "quick fix" or Band-Aid solution. Baby is crying hysterically, mom and dad are both exhausted. They feel they can't make her stop crying so mom and dad take baby to bed with them so they can all get some rest. Understandable. However, a month later mom and dad are frantic wondering why baby "hates her crib" or "will never sleep." Sure, in the short run taking your baby to bed and getting her to sleep is FAR easier than researching a sleep method and sticking to it for days, weeks or months. But remember, before providing a Band-Aid, think six months into the future...and make your choice. This definitely applies to older children as well. Think grocery store...kid screaming...mom buys him the candy bar he's screaming for...screaming stops. Six months down the road, the harmless candy bar becomes a toy truck, then a brand new bike..then God knows what. You get my drift. Spoiled brat in the making.

Accidental parenting is something we probably all have done or will do at some point in our parenting lives. Lord knows I have...and there is not doubt in my mind that I will do it again. In order to prevent it, we as parents have to become "PC", according to The Baby Whisperer (it's not what you think!) But more about becoming a "PC parent" in the next blog.

In the meantime, I am going to START the long weekend with a glass of wine...because that's how I mean to GO ON for the next three days! :-) Happy 4th everyone!!!

Manners

Ah, if only kids were born with good manners...i think I would be a lot less tired. When Brooke turned 3 I really started working with her on certain manners I felt were pivotal in life. Now that I reflect back on it , I should have started much earlier--like 12 months! Sure, I have always encouraged her to say "please" and "thank you" at a young age, but there was definitely more I could have been doing.

To me, manners, etiquette and overall people skills can take you a long way in life. In fact, being "book smart" and having a high IQ score doesn't necessarily ensure success in life. We all can think of someone that we knew who was extremely book smart but couldn't carry on a decent conversation to save their lives. These people flock to UC Berkeley, by the way--just talkin' from experience! :-)

It's never too early to start teaching good etiquette. The following five etiquette items are what I feel are the most important to teach young children for success later in life. Although some of these things may seem elementary, believe it or not it is RARE, very RARE to find these traits in young children. Believe me, at the school where I teach (elementary grades K-5) I might get ONE "please" or "thank you" a day. Most parents seem to want their kids to excel academically or in sports. However, parents can REALLY put their kids ten steps above the pack by teaching them some social skills...which will endure long after they blow out their knees and can no longer play basketball.

Top Etiquette Items

1) Please, thank you, excuse me and bless you: This is a basic life skill. How awesome would it be if your 2 year old to heard a stranger sneeze and followed it up with "bless you!" It would certainly take the stranger by surprise! Or if your 3 year old was in line at the grocery store and accidentally bumped the person in front, only to follow up with, "Excuse me." People are not used to hearing children be so polite. In fact, I don't think people are used to hearing ADULTS be so polite!

2) Interrupting: If there is one "kid" pet peeve of mine, it's interrupting. Ever tried having a conversation with a friend and her cute, but annoying two year old keeps wailing "Moooommmmeeee!", hovering around incessantly pining for Mom's attention? It's enough to drive you nuts, especially when it's your own kid! Although I don't want to restrict my child from talking and expressing herself, children need to learn how to restrain themselves in certain situations. This skill may be one of your toddlers first lessons in self-control.

Unfortunately, I put up with Brooke doing this far too long. I guess I didn't know how to put a stop to it until I read a great tip in the "Babywise" series. This is what I am doing (with success!). First, I waited until she performed the dreaded deed of interrupting--nothing like a teaching IN the moment. Then I explained to her that Mommy and Daddy were talking and it wasn't OK to interrupt when two people are talking. I told her I was still really interested in what she had to say, so if she had something to say, she needed to raise her hand (LIFE skills, my friends!). When she raises her hand, I acknowledge her by nodding or putting my hand on hers--just so she knows that I see her. She's allowed to speak when I say, "Ok, what do you have to say?" Although Brooke is FAR from mastering "interruption etiquette" as I call it, (she's a MAJOR chatterbox) I have definitely seen progress. It's so cute to see her wildly raising her hand out of the corner of my eye when Scott and I are talking.

3) Table manners: When Brooke turned 3, we began having dinner in the formal dining room each evening. I firmly believe it sitting down to dinner each night, saying grace and having good conversation. We're all busy, but this is one time during the day we can all come together. Below are the "rules" I have put in place for Brooke. Consequences are one warning and if it happens again, she gets down from the table and her dinnertime is over, no exceptions:

- We don't start eating until everyone has their food.
- Ask to be excused from the table.
- No playing with food.

4) Introducing yourself, hand shaking: Yes, I am trying to teach my 3 year old the beauty of a good, solid handshake when meeting adults she doesn't know. Followed with, "Hi, my name is Brooke." We've been role-playing at home (3 year olds--they LOVE "pretend!!") and she had a chance to test her skills at a recent party we went to. She did beautifully with the first two people and then shriveled back to her old shy ways. But we're still working on it--there is definite progress!

5) Addressing adults: I don't allow Brooke to call any adult non-family member by their first name. She doesn't call my friends "Traci" or "Jean." She calls them Mrs. Golis and Mrs. Jordan. This is one of the first steps you can take to teach kids respect for adults. Because you know, "kids these days..." they have no respect for their elders!!

Keep in mind, Brooke is 3 1/2 and she has not completely mastered any of these except (maybe) "thank you" and #5. But never underestimate what your little one can do. Don't fall for the excuse, "they're too young to be expected to do that." Demand high expectations and they will reap the benefits for a lifetime.

PS--As for the nose-picking....I choose my battles!!! There is only so much one person can do :-)