Baby Style

All babies have a certain temperament. Some call it nature. Some call in genetics or personality. I like to call it style. When you hear people say, "every baby is different," they aren't kidding. Figuring out who that unique individual you are holding in your arms can take...oh, a lifetime!

But for the sake of figuring out your baby when they are still a baby, they will generally fall into one or two major categories that Tracy Hogg lists in The Baby Whisperer.

Knowing your baby's style is key in developing a bond with your baby and figuring out the best way to handle certain situations, including sleep training. I will outline those situations in an upcoming post. For now, read the descriptions below. What "style" is your little one? When deciding, you are looking for the dominant behavior of your baby. Most babies have a combination of all of these at some point, but keep in mind what your baby is like most of the time. You might find your baby is a cross between two styles.

Baby Styles

1. Angel: Easily adapts to situations. Rarely cries, easy-going and even-tempered. Meltdowns are rare. Good sleeper--might just need a hug and kiss and falls asleep on her own. Smiles a lot. Hard to read "sleepy cues"--often doesn't show signs of being tired.

What Parents Say About Angel Babies: This is too good to be true. When does it end?

2. Textbook: Reaches every milestone like clockwork. The Book says smiling by 6 weeks--check! Sleeping through the night at 12 weeks-check! Sits alone at 7 months--check! Babies like these are very predictable making it easy for parents to read their cues. A textbook baby might have some cranky spells, but they are generally easy to calm and reassure. Can get irritable when his schedule changes, but adjusts fairly quickly. Generally easy going.

What Parents Say About Textbook Babies: Low maintenance baby. Give him what he wants, he's happy. Life is good.

3.Touchy: Sometimes cries for no reason. Often sensitive to light, noise, temperature. Light sleepers. Temperamental; you will sometimes see that "fight or flight" reaction kick in when they are experiencing something new, unknown or undesired. Prefers mellow, quiet situations--doesn't like chaos. Cautious. Touchy babies need very patient and understanding parents who will recognize their "Baby Style" and try to work through it.

What Parents Say About Touchy Babies: I'm exhausted. The slightest things set her off. Cry baby.

4. Spirited: As a baby, spirited children are usually the most demanding. One wail or scream and Mom knows he means business! These babies actually love stimulation, don't mind noise and chaos. Baby just seems energetic. People will describe baby saying, "Wow! He's so alert and active!" Always on the move, loves touching and feeling things, even as a very young baby. Spirited babies tend not to be great sleepers. They like action! Spirited babies take lots and lots of work to sleep train. These babies generally need less sleep than other babies.

What Parents Say About Spirited Babies: He's a handful. He needs everything NOW. He freaks when I don't feed him fast enough. Relentless crying sometimes! Meltdowns! I sometimes feel like I don't have the energy to deal with him!

5. Grumpy: Irritable baby. Doesn't really sleep well, never seems really content. Hates being swaddled. Cries and cries when doing something undesired (i.e swaddling, diaper changing). These babies do very well on a routine...but are very pissed when they're off it!

What Parents Say About Grumpy Babies: Dang--he's mad!!! It's his way or the highway! Look at him turn red! Why doesn't he smile more?! Look out--here comes another meltdown!

Now keep in mind, every baby at some point has been angel, textbook, spirited, touchy or grumpy baby. Some babies will show some traits I listed in all of the categories. However, you have to look at the overall baby. What is she most like, most of the time?

...so...what's your Baby Style?

More Newborn Sleep Help: The Sleep Window and Rituals

The Baby Whisperer outlines several variables on why a baby may not be sleeping "well." One of them is "lack of an inadequate sleep ritual." Some tip-offs may include:

1) Baby doesn't settle down to sleep easily.

2) Baby falls asleep but then is suddenly awake, ten minutes to a half hour later.

In order for baby to have a peaceful sleep you need to help her get there. You do this two ways. First, you need to recognize and figure out your baby's "sleep window." You also have to have a good sleep routine in place.

The Sleep Window
You need to learn when baby is ready to go to sleep. Ask yourself, "Do I know what my baby looks like when she's tired?" If you miss a baby's sleep window, it's MUCH harder to get them to sleep. When Will was under 5 months he had a VERY delicate sleep window. If I missed it by more than 15 minutes, it was extremely hard to get him settled down for a nap because at this point, he was overtired.

There are a couple of things you can do to figure out what the "window" is. First, look for "sleepy cues." Sleepy cues a young baby can give can be: yawn, fidget, fuss, squeak, turn their head away from you or a toy, burrow his head in your neck when you're carrying him or....nothing at all! Some babies just don't give good sleep cues. Particularly "textbook" or "angel" babies--they just always seem content. So if you have a baby that is not giving you the signs, you are going to have to figure it out on your own. Below I have outlined average, possible "optimal waketimes" for each age range. Note that your child may vary up or down 30 minutes or so. But this will give you a good idea of where you should start:

Optimal Waketimes (note: the time indicated includes a full feeding)

0-4 Weeks: 30-60 minutes

4-6 Weeks: 45-60 minutes

6-8 Weeks: 60 minutes

8-12 Weeks: 60-75 minutes

3-4 Months: 60-90 minutes

4-5 Months: 90-120 minutes

5-6 Months: 120 minutes

6-12 Months: 120-180 minutes

As I mentioned before, these times will vary from baby to baby. Especially as they get older (6+ months). This gives you a good starting point. Remember, when baby is having a hard time going to sleep or staying asleep, first try cutting back their waketime. I used 10-15 minute increments when finding Will's optimal waketime. It does take some trial and error, but it is so worth doing!

So now you know when baby is tired. That is half the battle. But you're not done yet!! Next, you need a solid sleep ritual or routine that you are going to use every time you put baby down for bed or for a nap. I love The Baby Whisperer's 4 S routine. I did this consistently with Will and even my husband says, "that stuff really works!" Here's what you do:

The 4-S Routine

1. Set the Stage: Whether its bedtime or naptime you need to prepare baby for sleep. You simply remove them from any stimulation. Go into their quiet room, draw the curtains, walk around a little. I used to carry Will around in his room for a minute or so and we would say "goodnight" to everything.

2. Swaddling: I can do a whole post of the importance of the swaddle but for now I will just tell you it's necessary. This is another way we help remove stimulation from baby and promote sleep. Don't bother with the Swaddle Me. I found that thing worthless!! You need a good, TIGHT swaddle. I used The Miracle Blanket with Will and it was awesome. It's lightweight and long--it's easy to get a good, tight swaddle. He wasn't able to bust out completely until about 5 months. Swaddling--it's important. Do it every time baby sleeps.

3. Sitting: I love this one!! After baby is swaddled, you sit quietly with him, upright (his face in your shoulder/neck). You don't move. You don't rock or jiggle him. You don't pace around. I know, that is what our instinct tells us--to pace, jiggle and rock! You should have seen my pacing and jiggling with Brooke! I was an expert! All of this stimulates baby--it doesn't calm him down. So just sit still. You do this for about five minutes. I have to say, 5 minutes of just sitting seems like an eternity. Especially if you have another child in the house! But try your best. I learned to love this sit time because it gave me a break! It's so awesome--after a few minutes, you can actually feel their little bodies relax. The Baby Whisperer book said that would happen, but I didn't believe it! But yep, almost every time, I could feel Will's body relax. As soon as I felt that, I knew it was time to put him down in his crib. He was still awake, but headed towards sleep.

After this, put him down (awake) in his crib. Tell him "night-night" and leave the room. Allow him to settle himself to sleep.

4. Shhh-Pat: So he's not asleep yet, huh? He screamed his head off when you put him down? Time to move on to the 4th S--Shh-Pat. Note--once your baby is accustomed to this sleep routine (it does take some time)--you won't have to do the 4th S very often! This step is critical if your baby is not going to sleep. It is a sleep training tool to use so you don't get into Accidental Parenting. It's also kinder and gentler than the Cry It Out (CIO) version of sleep training, for those people who don't believe it CIO. Shh-Pat should be used on babies up to 4 months. After 4 months, I personally recommend incremental CIO.

Here's how shh-pat works. You don't pick up your baby. You simply whisper "shh, shh, shh" into their ear while at the same time, patting their back. Did you know that babies under 3-4 months cannot hold more than 2 "thoughts" in their mind at once? This technique works because they are concentrating on the shh and the patting, so they can can't continue to cry. Eventually, baby will stop crying and concentrate on the shh'ing and the patting. Sometimes this happens right away, sometimes it takes 20+ minutes. If it doesn't work after 10 minutes or so, you can also pick baby up and do the same thing holding her. When you feel her relax, put her down.

I will tell you that 20 minutes of shh-patting, hunched over a crib feels like 20 hours. No joke. But believe me when I tell you: It works and it's worth it. Teaching your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep is one of the single most important things you can teach them at this age.

The Sleep Deprivation Cure

When you're having a conversation with someone who has recently had a baby, the topic somehow always comes around to one thing: sleep. "Is she a good sleeper?", "Is he sleeping through the night yet?", "How much sleep are you getting?" It's inevitable. Babies and sleep go hand in hand.

Adjusting to a new baby is no easy task--yes, you'll be tired. However, after the first couple of months, moms and dads shouldn't have to be completely sleep deprived. According to Babywise, of babies on a parent-directed flexible routine, about 75% of them were sleeping through the night at 7-9 weeks. 96% of them were sleeping through the night at 12 weeks. This goes for breast and formula fed babies. To non-Babywise readers, this is a sheer and utter **miracle**. To Babywise people like myself, I was stressing when Will wasn't sleeping through at 9 weeks! (He slept through at 10 weeks from 10pm-6am).

What's the secret? A parent-led flexible routine. I don't really like to call it a "schedule" because you really can't fit a baby into an exact schedule. But it is a routine/semi-schedule that you direct based on your baby's cues. Most people who are not informed about this type of system, think it's some Nazi-style schedule where you only feed baby at a certain time each day and the baby spends hours in his crib "Crying It Out." After all, demand-feeding baby is currently the "in" thing. I can post Babywise Misunderstandings in another post. This post is how to get some sleep!!

Whether you go by the Babywise book or the Baby Whisperer, they are both the same concept. I like The Baby Whisperer because it has a cute acronym: E.A.S.Y.

E=Eat
A=Activity
S=Sleep
Y=You time!

The vast majority of new parents switch the A and S and end up feeding (the E) the baby right before they sleep. Remember my post on Accidental Parenting? Start as you mean to go on--you don't want baby to associate eating with sleeping...otherwise you'll be nursing to sleep when they're a year old! I love you, but no thanks.

I pulled one of Will's sample schedules (yes, REAL LIFE!) from when he was about 12 weeks:

E: 6:00am: Wake up, eat, diaper change

A: Playmat or bouncy seat

S: 7:00am: Nap

Y: This is when I would shower, have coffee, get ready

E: 9:00am: Wake up, eat

A: Playmat, bouncy seat, whatever else a 3 month old does!

S: 10:00am: Nap

Y: Me time! (actually, Brooke-time)

I would repeat this routine until about 6:30pm and that was technically "bedtime." Scott and I would wake him at 10pm (The Baby Whisperer calls this the "Dream Feed." I call it "topping them off!") and do a diaper change and feeding before we went to bed and he slept solidly until about 6am the next morning. Some things to note:

- He was never awake for more than about an hour to an hour and a half at this age

- During the day, I never fed him right before he went to sleep (the exception is the bottle right before bed and the Dream Feed)

- At three months, he was taking (3) 1.5 hour naps--his last afternoon nap was a catnap (45'ish min). Sometimes he would take this catnap, sometimes not.

- "Bedtime" should be roughly 12 hours from their wakeup time. Will was an early riser (still is!), so his bedtime was also early (still is!). If baby wakes at 8am, then shoot for their bedtime being 8pm. Don't forget to top them off! :-)

- Pick a waketime time in the morning and stick with it. If baby naturally wakes at 6am, you can make that their wakeup time for the day or feed them and put them right back to bed and wake them later. Remember, when ever you decide their wakeup time is, that is when you start E.A.S.Y.

- Around 6 months or so, they'll end up dropping the last 1-2 "naps" of the day and just going to two longer naps.

So that is the E.A.S.Y./parent-directed routine in a nutshell. It goes against the popular belief that you should never wake a sleeping baby. In Will's case, the kid was ALWAYS sleeping during the day. He would hardly wake up during the day, even to eat! Therefore, he liked to "play" at night. Waking him for feedings during the day helped him distinguish his days and nights (days are for eating, nights are not!). It also ensured he was getting enough to eat during the day, so he wasn't waking at night to eat (or play!). For most of us, that type of routine works much better with our adult schedules :-)

The Developmental Olympics

At the beginning of Tracy's Hogg's (AKA: The Baby Whisperer) book, The Baby Whisperer Solves All of Your Problems she discusses what she calls The Developmental Olympics. The Developmental Olympics is exactly what it sounds like--this intense pressure and "training" we submit our kids to in the area of development. Don't lie...you've done it. You're at play group and you notice Sally Jane, who is two weeks younger than your little one is saying "Da, da" and "Ma, Ma" all throughout the play group. "Why isn't my little Susie saying ma, ma yet??," you wonder. A wave of jealously, mixed with slight feelings of inadequacy slowly comes across you. You leave the play group and spend the rest of the afternoon in your daughter's face saying, "Ma, ma, da, da! Can you say ma, ma? Can you say da, da?" until she swats you with her sippy cup.

Why do we do this? Haven't we heard a zillion times that "Children develop at different rates?" Sure we have. And we believe it, too.... just so long as our kids are the one developing the fastest! I think much of this is brought on by all of those lovely BOOKS on development. You know which ones I am talking about, What to Expect The First Year, What to Expect The Toddler Years, Your Baby's First Year Week by Week....that last book to me is the kicker. Has anyone read this book?? It tells you, week-by-week what your baby "should" be doing. For instance, "Week 4--your baby is smiling this week!" Um, not she's not! Should I be rushing her to the emergency room???

Books aside, I also think there is something innate with our generation (Gen X & Y) that somehow makes us think that if our kids aren't the BEST at something, then they're not good enough. As a special education teacher, I have had parents come to me saying they thought their child had a learning disability because they were reading at the 50th percentile. 50th percentile, my friends is called AVERAGE. A learning disability occurs when students are significantly below average--think FIFTH percentile, not fiftieth!

I am not saying we should just accept "average" from our kids. Sure, we need to push them so they can become the best that they can be--within reason. It is important to understand what you can control and what you cannot. Maybe your child says her first word 2 months after your friend's child. SO WHAT. It does not mean your friend's child is verbally gifted or destined for some kind of greatness. It also doesn't mean your kid is slow or has weak verbal ability. She just took her a little longer to speak up. That's it. If there was really a problem with some "milestone," your doctor would speak with you about it. And if she's reading at the 50th percentile and not the 95th, maybe you can spend some extra time reading with her. Talk to her teacher. See if there are things you can do to help her along. But for heaven sake, don't put this intense pressure on your child to make them a 95th percentile kid-- it's just not worth it.

I have learned with Brookey that there is a fine line between "firm encouragement" and pushing her over the edge. For example, I firmly encourage her to always try new things and not shy away from unfamiliar situations--because it seems to be in her nature to do so. On the other hand, if I push her too hard, she'll become frustrated and completely shut down. You have to determine the correct balance between encouraging and just letting them proceed at their own pace...and every child has a different balance that works for them.

When you put things into perspective, in the long run, no one really gives a damn when your precious Sally Jane sat up, said her first word or rolled over. So long as it's within NORMAL limits (and I am telling you--"normal limits" encompass a HUGE range!), we all have nothing to worry about. I have to admit, however that it is so much fun to get excited about our kid's many milestones, especially during the infant stage when it seems like everyday is a new milestone...just so long as we don't take it too seriously.

I know, I know, I can say it until I am blue in the face: "Children develop at different rates." I know you--you will still compare. It's okay, I forgive you...because I will, too. Maybe it's just a motherly instinct that we want our kids to be successful. Maybe you are just trying to get a gauge on where your child is compared to others. That's fair. Just make sure as you are comparing, that you are being fair to the child in front of you. Don't force her into the Olympics when she is still struggling at the Regionals.

Being a P.C. Parent

It's not what you think. I don't care whether you're Politically Correct or not. I highly doubt that type of "PC" has any affect on your parenting abilities. The "PC" I am referring to is a reference in The Baby Whisperer series that stands for Patience and Consciousness--two skills that are absolutely essential to good parenting.

Patience: If you're a mom of a child of ANY age--from 4 weeks to 4,000 weeks, you understand that parenting demands patience. Some people, Pre-School and Kindergarten teachers in particular, are born with patience. They could have a classroom full of kids--some kids have decided it would be fun to paint each other green over at the art station, in the class library area two kids are screaming over a book, another kid just spilled an 1,000 piece puzzle, Susie is whining she has to go to the bathroom--and still this teacher is smiling and calmly speaking with a parent telling her that yes, Johnny is doing just GREAT in her class. Nothing ruffles her feathers. For the other 99% of us--patience is a learned skill.

I recently heard the quote, "With kids, the days are long but the years are short." If you take a step back from the daily hustle and bustle of parenting, it seems like days are weeks and weeks are years. I remember when I was in the midst of potty training Brooke. I was hunched over her potty chair begging her to poop and she simply refused. I remember being in TEARS thinking my kid is NEVER, EVER going to poop in the potty, convinced she'd be going to go to middle school with Pull Ups. Then a few days later, she pooped and I realized I had technically only been trying to potty train her for a little over a WEEK!! Why did it seem like 5 years??! And when you're in the heat of taking care of a newborn, why does it seem like it's taking a YEAR for them to sleep through the night when really, it's a few months or less??? Patience, my friend. This too shall pass.

When your kids get a little older, patience takes on a whole new meaning. Ever tried to leave the house with a 3 year old? Putting on shoes "by herself"=3 minutes. Going pee "by herself"=3 minutes. Get a drink or snack "by herself"=4 minutes. 10 minutes later you can FINALLY leave but then you realize that YOU have to pee and get a snack! Of course, you could do all of this for her-put on her shoes, take her to the potty and grab a snack in under a minute--and sometimes that is what you HAVE to do. But the majority of the time, kids should learn to do things for themselves. That's how they learn. They'll never learn to put their shoes on the right feet if you are constantly doing it for them. It's important for us to take a step back and not be in such a rush to rescue our kids at every moment. Our job as parents is to effectively guide our children, not to specifically show them the way every single time. Our lack of patience often gets in the way of everyday learning opportunities for our kids.

Consciousness: The word conscious is defined as "being aware of one's existence, thoughts and surroundings." As parents, we need to become extremely conscious of our little one's existence, thoughts and surroundings. That may seem like a no-brainer, but is it?

How well do you tune into your baby? Have you learned her cries, her quirks, what sets her off? What's her overall style? Content? Grumpy? Easygoing? Feisty? Touchy? Active? It's important to know our kids as who they ARE, not who we want them to be. Learn WHO your child is and appreciate, accept and nurture it. Learning this takes time and a heightened sense of awareness--something that cannot be accomplished if you're just going through the motions everyday. Slow down. OBSERVE. LISTEN to your kids. From the moment they come into the world, if you pay close attention they will tell you something about their personality every single day.

Being a conscious parent also means being aware of what you say and do with your child. How do you speak to your child? Is your tone generally that of respect? Or are you constantly trying to fix, criticize or correct your child? Do you take time to actually sit and talk with your child or are most of your days so busy you only have time "go through the motions" of school, soccer, dinner, homework, bath and bed? How much do you talk to your child? How much do you listen? How consistent are you with your child? Is his bedtime 7pm one day and 10pm the next? Do you give into his whining one day but not the other? Do you put him in timeout for talking back to you one day but let it slide the next?

The more you are aware of what you do as a parent, the better you will be able to troubleshoot various problems throughout your child's life. A (teeny) tiny part of me wishes I had an invisible camera crew around to record my interactions with my kids. I don't want to end up like the Gosslins, though so I guess I'll pass on the camera crew. I do however, try to reflect on my parenting everyday. I am my biggest critic. That's how we learn and get better at something. After all, none of us were born perfect parents. And none of us were born knowing how to BE a parent.

Our kids need our patience and their need us to be tuned into them (conscious). Both take practice but both can make us happier parents which in turn, make for happier kids.

"Start As You Mean to Go On," Accidental Parenting & The Baby Whisperer

There are a zillion books on parenting out there. Most of these books are targeted to first time, clueless moms who will believe anything they read. Unfortunately, the first "go to" book most moms read after having their baby is What to Expect the First Year. After thoroughly being stressed out by What to Expect When You're Expecting, moms somehow take another blow by using What to Expect the First Year as their mini-Bible for that precious first year.

HOGG-wash, I say! Tracy Hogg, that is. She is dubbed "The Baby Whisperer" and her book, The Baby Whisperer Solves all of Your Problems has been my go-to book for Baby #2. I will present lots of her wisdom in my blogs. For those of you who are not familar with Tracy Hogg, she's a very witty, non-nonsense, yet compassionate Brit who wrote several New York Times best selling Baby Whisperer books before passing away from melanoma in 2004. Hogg advocates putting your baby on a structured, flexible routine from Day 1. Hogg states, "It is not a schedule because you cannot always fit a baby into a clock. A routine gives the day structure and makes family life consistent, which is important because all of us, children and adults, babies and toddlers, thrive on predictability. Everyone benefits." Essentially, Hogg is on the same page as Ezzo's Babywise philosphy however, Hogg presents a kinder, gentler version of Babywise.

The first bit of wisdom Hogg presents is her theory that often parents who are struggling with the three main "parenting problems" (sleeping, eating and behavior) have often fallen into "accidental parenting"--which is simply parents starting bad habits that they later have to break. I don't care what any of the What to Expect books tell you about not being able to "spoil" a baby under three months--it's definitely possible and I am living proof! Brooke came out of the womb feisty--unlike Will, she was not a baby who was born "knowing how to sleep." For three months Scott and I held, rocked and bounced her to sleep for nearly every nap and bedtime. For the first six weeks, I was OK with this. After all, wasn't I supposed to hold and comfort my baby whenever she needed me? Around six weeks I had a nervous breakdown because I was so tired of this "cajoling to sleep" routine and by three months, my back hurt so much from carrying a 98th percentile baby that I could hardly get out of bed. But I guess she wasn't spoiled??? HA!!! Perhaps "spoiled" is not the right word, but she had definitely gotten used to her sleep routine that involved Scott and I aiding her sleep every single time. It wasn't her fault--although our intentions were good, we never taught her to fall asleep on her own.

Hogg uses a great phrase, "Start as you mean to go on." Simply put, don't create bad habits that you will have to break later. Just start with what you want. If you want your child to fall asleep on her own without you holding her, teach her to do this from Day 1 (there are various ways, not just Cry It Out). If you don't want your child to become dependent on a pacifier, don't stick it in her mouth every time she makes a peep. Although many "habits" can be broken much easier at three months than say, nine months, why even START a habit you'll have to fix later? Accidental parenting is the root of many problems parents face. Here are the two main ways well-meaning parents can unknowingly become an accidental parent:

1) Being inconsistent/changing the rules: One day, you allow your child to eat on the couch, the next day you yell at her for spilling her Cheerios all over the furniture and tell her to quit eating on the couch. You're mad, she's confused and frustrated. Or your child intentionally throws food off her highchair and says "uh oh!" You laugh because it it is sooooo cute for a 10 month old!! Believe me, I have numerous videos of me laughing hysterically as Brooke throws green beans, sippy cups and Cheerios off her highchair saying "uh oh!" However, when that same child is 2 years old, it's not so cute...just a lot of cleaning up!! As Hogg says, "Start as you mean to go on." Before you laugh at food flying off the highchair, think 6 months into the future and try to imagine your reaction. If you still think you'll be laughing, then that's fine. If not, set limits now and stick to them (just get a video of the incident so you can laugh later).

2) Keep providing Band-Aids: When parents are faced with a new problem, they often resort to a "quick fix" or Band-Aid solution. Baby is crying hysterically, mom and dad are both exhausted. They feel they can't make her stop crying so mom and dad take baby to bed with them so they can all get some rest. Understandable. However, a month later mom and dad are frantic wondering why baby "hates her crib" or "will never sleep." Sure, in the short run taking your baby to bed and getting her to sleep is FAR easier than researching a sleep method and sticking to it for days, weeks or months. But remember, before providing a Band-Aid, think six months into the future...and make your choice. This definitely applies to older children as well. Think grocery store...kid screaming...mom buys him the candy bar he's screaming for...screaming stops. Six months down the road, the harmless candy bar becomes a toy truck, then a brand new bike..then God knows what. You get my drift. Spoiled brat in the making.

Accidental parenting is something we probably all have done or will do at some point in our parenting lives. Lord knows I have...and there is not doubt in my mind that I will do it again. In order to prevent it, we as parents have to become "PC", according to The Baby Whisperer (it's not what you think!) But more about becoming a "PC parent" in the next blog.

In the meantime, I am going to START the long weekend with a glass of wine...because that's how I mean to GO ON for the next three days! :-) Happy 4th everyone!!!