Splatter & Shake Paintings

This activity was slightly messy (especially when a certain 15 month old got a hold of a paint container and opened it), but very fun. Both Preschooler and Pretoddler enjoyed it.

Materials Needed
- Empty coffee canister(s) or any cylinder-shaped container
- Different colors of (washable) paint (i.e. poster paint)
- Paper
- Various small items to make the splatters. We used different beads and rice. You could also use dried beans, marbles, rocks, paper clips, coins.

Age Range Recommendations
- 12 months +

Directions
- Put the paper on the inside of the coffee can (you might have to cut it a little to fit)
- Put a small amount of paint in the can. One or two colors works best.
- Drop in a few of the small objects and close the lid.
- Shake, shake, shake the can!! (Will liked this part best!)
- Take off the lid and check out your design! You may want to add more paint or more objects. Masterpiece!!

The above "painting" is Will's. Below is Brooke's. It doesn't really matter the age, all the paintings turn out cute!!

Outdoor Activity: Washing Toys!

This was a great outdoor activity I got from the Preschoolers Busy Book. Both Brooke and Will had a blast with it and I FINALLY found a use for Buddy's old baby bathtub!

All I did was fill an old baby bathtub with soapy water. Then I dumped all their plastic bath toys in the tub, gave them a few washcloths and told them to start washing! What's not fun about splashing around in soapy water on a summer's day?? Plus, all their bath toys are clean now!

Materials Needed
- Plastic baby bathtub or large plastic bin
- Various toys (baby dishes, play dishes and Tupperware also work well)
- Soap/Water
- Washcloths

Age Range Recommendation
- Ages 1-6

Setting Limits Part 1

My sister in law recently asked me if I knew of any good "parenting" books that she could relate to for her 2 year old. I told her hands-down, the best book on parenting I have read thus far (and I have read quite a few!) is Setting Limits by Robert J. MacKenzie. Let's face it, around 18 months (give or take), we've hopefully got the eating and sleeping things sorted out with our kids. Now it's time to move from "caring" for your child, to actually parenting your child. This is when the fun begins!

I'll be writing a series of posts on all different aspects of this book. Hopefully you will find them helpful. I learned so much by reading this book.

I have had the pleasure of meeting Dr. MacKenzie in person last year. He and his team trained our entire teaching staff on how to set limits in the classroom. He's also held a number of parenting seminars for the parents at our school And lord knows, many of them need to learn a thing or two about parenting! We've been implementing his program at our school with great success.

Dr. MacKenzie is a smart, witty, easy-going, common sense kind of guy---which of course is why I like him so much. His methods are straight-forward and are practically all just plain COMMON SENSE. No special "methods" or "tricks"...no getting in touch with the "primitive" side of your toddler--for those of you who have read The Happiest Toddler on the Block. The great thing is, you can read this book and you will be able to relate it to your 2 year old who throws applesauce off his highchair to your 16 year old who constantly breaks her curfew. It's timeless! However, I have not had the opportunity to parent any child older than 4, so I will not be commenting on how this book relates to anyone older than 4. I will only talk about my personal experience with this book with a 2-4 year old.

The first thing this book does is categorize three different parenting approaches:

1) The Punitive Parent: Punitive parents are often caught yelling things like: "Do that one more time and I'll...[insert threat here]," or "How many times do I have to tell you..." Punitive parents yell and threaten. They can be found in grocery stores around nap time and in the Target toy aisle. Punitive parents present themselves as frustrated, mean and exhausted. More than likely, we've all been a punitive parent at one time or another. I know I have! Although this isn't my typical parenting approach, I have definitely been known to raise my voice and use false threats: "Stop that right now you're going to bed!" (it's 5pm, and that would be nearly impossible). It mostly happens when I am exhausted or stress gets the best of me. For many parents, however, threats are the only way they know how to "parent."

2) The Permissive Parent: Permissive parents permeate the upper middle class. These types of parents are often overly-concerned about their child's feelings...never wanting them to be upset, hurt or disappointed. Permissive parents often end their sentences with"OK." "Spencer, stop banging your brother's head against the wall, OK?" Permissive parents tend to over-explain, and want to parent their children as "equals" instead of clearly establishing themselves as the person in charge. Permissive parents are always trying to bargain, plead, lecture and negotiate with their children. Children of permissive parents rule their households. They have learned that their parents never follow through on any sort of "limits" they set and they also have learned the art of negotiating their way out of undesired things such as going to bed.

3) The Setting Limits Parent: This is the approach endorsed by Dr. MacKenzie and I'm sure in our minds, what we all strive to be. The Setting Limits parent is fair, yet firm. These parents are clearly in charge, without being a dictator. The allow their children freedom, but with limits. This parenting approach requires that you set fair and firm limits and FOLLOW through each time. As with sleep training your infant, it is not always the easiest parenting approach emotionally-speaking, but this is a long term parenting approach, not a short term fix to get your kid to stop throwing a fit in the grocery store.

Imagine this: You're grocery shopping with your 2 year old. You are almost done when your toddler decides he wants a box of Captain Crunch. You say no. Toddler starts whining. You hold firm and try to explain--"No, sweetie, that type of cereal will rot your teeth and then you'll have to go to the dentist and...blah, blah, blah." [The Permissive Parent] Toddler throws a fit, starts screaming. People start looking at. Yes, you are worst parent ever! :-) In frustration, you say, "OK just this once. But next time, we're getting Special K." Toddler is happy.

Now as educated, common sense parents, you know exactly what this person did wrong. But admit it--it IS easier to just quiet a screaming child and save yourself embarrassment, isn't it? Just like it's easier to nurse your baby to sleep for 12 months than hearing her cry every time you lay her down to bed. Easier in the short term, that is. Don't forget, my friends, parenting isn't about the short term. You're in it for the long haul.

I'll go into more detail on how Dr. MacKenzie recommends becoming a Setting Limits parent in future posts.

Raising a Happy Child

If someone asked you "What do you want for your child" and you only had one second to answer, what would you say? More than likely the first word that would come to your mind would not be rich, sexy or famous--it would probably be "happy." Nothing makes our hearts swell more than to hear those little infant giggles or to watch our toddlers chase bubbles like it was the most fascinating, joyful activity in the world--sheer happiness in our children in a joy to experience.

But how can we be sure we raising happy children? We can't be sure. Environmental and genetic factors definitely come into play in determining whether our little cherubs will end up "happy." However, there are things we can do to help them along.

Edward Hallowell, author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness outlines several things we can do to help raise happy children who remain happy adults.

His research shows that "over indulged" children who are showered with toys and who are constantly kept out of harms way emotionally (think back to "Everyone Gets a Trophy") may end up cynical and joyless teenagers. He says the best predictors of happiness are internal, not external. In other words, help your kids develop self-coping skills. Let them make mistakes and learn from them. Skills like patience and flexibility can give children the inner strength to get through life's ups and downs.

Here are a few things Hallowell recommends along with my own two cents. Note that these relate to little kids--toddler to preschooler--but can be applied to older kids as well:

1) Good sleep and healthy habits: You've read enough of my posts to know how I feel about sleep. It could be the #1 predictor to how happy your child is day-to-day. Teaching your child good eating and exercise habits is also important. No, they may not always eat the spinach or brussel sprouts you put in front of them, but by making them "try" or "take two bites" you are teaching them that eating healthy food is important to you--and it should be important to them as well.

2) Help them develop their interests and talents...without pushing too hard. Sure, we all want our kid to be the next Tiger Woods. Oh, wait...did I just say that? Let's see...Yo-Yo Ma? Michael Jordan? At any rate, we would LOVE for them to be a superstar! However, as we are very aware, we don't all have the God-given talent to be a famous sports star or concert pianist. Some of us have other much more boring "talents" such as being super organized or being able to make fancy Excel tables with their eyes closed. Help your child develop their "talents" however small or boring the might seem to you. For instance, Brookey seems to have an amazing talent for remembering things--words, pictures, events. So I decided to teach her a few Kindergarten sight words. Low and behold, it didn't take her any time at all to start memorizing these words. No, it might not get her a Division I scholarship, but she might do OK in Kindergarten. Likewise, don't PUSH you child tooooo hard to, for instance, learn to read. Brookey is INTERESTED in doing Hooked on Phonics and learning to read. Not all 4 year olds are. That is completely OK. Believe me, your kids will turn out fine! I really wanted Brooke to love gymnastics, but one day she decided she was "done." I went with it, even though it made me pretty mad. I figure at some point we can try it again, but right now I'm going to let her develop her own interests.

3) Let them struggle a bit: No, your job as a parent is not to make sure your child is happy...every single second of the day. They shed a tear, you don't automatically need to scoop them up and "save" them. They're struggling to cut a piece of paper? You don't have to take the paper and scissors and cut it for them. This is NOT how you raise a happy child. This is how you raise an interdependent, helpless child!! Let them make some mistakes. That's how we all learn. And even more important, teach them COPING skills. They're frustrated because they can't cut the paper on a straight line? Teach them what they could do, which might include calmly asking for help. By letting kids learn on their own we create a sense of independence and confidence...which leads to greater self-esteem and happiness. And the best thing--we didn't even have to give them a trophy!

4) Be a good role model: As your kids get older, it becomes very apparent how much of a role model you are to them. You'll find them repeating things you say or taking on your preferences and mannerisms. Scary, but it can be helpful if you play your cards right. Happy parents usually equal a happy child. Stressed parents often exude this stress onto their kids directly and indirectly. Not to say there can be no stress in your lives. Obviously, there is! But be very aware of how you might transfer YOUR OWN day's stress onto your kids. Deal with that privately or with your spouse. Don't take it out on your kids.

5) Have FUN. The daily grind for me is wake up, get the kids dressed, quick breakfast and off to school...then come home, cook/eat dinner, baths, bed. Some days it seems like just that--a GRIND. Many days it seems like I am rushing, rushing, rushing. Where is the fun in that? Not all days are fun, but try to make it a point that every weekend is family time. When I feel like the day or the week has been too crazy and I am always rushing my kids someplace, I'll do something "fun" out of the blue like pick Brookey up early and go to ice-cream or to the library. No matter how busy I am, I always try to somehow, fit FUN into the day's equation....even if it means Brookey staying up 30 minutes later so we can cuddle and watch and movie together or bake cookies.

Here's to happy kids!!

Ready for School? Part II

Last week, I talked about what Gary Ezzo believes to be the most important school readiness "skills." The two from last week--sleep and structure/routine. These skills are more the product of the home environment ("nurture") rather than inherent traits however can be strengthened or weakened by general temperament ("nature"). Some kids are "born to sleep" and are just generally adaptable kids no matter what parents do. However, if kids are not this "sleep-wise" and adaptable, parents can have a large part in ensuring their kids get the sleep and structure they NEED.

The next two--attention span and focusing-- are the opposite. These are more inherent skills ("nature") but can be strengthened or weakened by by home environment ("nurture"). Some kids are just born with longer attention spans than others. Some kids have no problem focusing on objects. You can see this as young as 2-3 months when they are playing on their little playmat. Some kids--like Will--can just be down there playing and grabbing and cooing for an hour at age 4 months. Brooke, on the other hand, could not play on the mat for more than a few minutes without getting "bored." However, this does not mean that "nurture" or home environment cannot play a HUGE role in developing (or hindering) and child's attention and focusing skills.

Attention Span: Ask any pediatrician what the #1 prescribed medicine is (at least in MY school district) and it's ADD meds. It's rampant. I bet 50% of kids at my school are on some kind of ADD med!! Yes, some people have a longer attention span than others. By the look of things, my daughter is on the LOW end and my son will be on the HIGH end. :-) But Brooke does not suffer from ADD or ADHD. Some kids truly do suffer from it and it's a disorder that definitely does exist. But it does not exist in 50% of the population. For 48% of them, it's learned. Attention span can be weakened and strengthened by environmental factors.

Attention span develops in a structured environment and it develops at a very young age. When I was home with Brooke this summer, I did my best to have planned activities for her throughout the day. Some requiring my assistance, but many of them independent. For example, I would say--it's puzzle time! And she would choose some puzzles to work on for a set amount of time. Another thing I do with her is work on coloring. Which, done correctly, takes a lot of attention, focus and concentration. I would give her a picture and tell her to do her "best preschool coloring" which means everything had to be colored and colored within the lines (as much as she can at this point! just no aimless scribbling!). At first, she had trouble with coloring the WHOLE picture perfectly without wanting to move on to another picture, but as time went on she improved a lot. Just little activities like that once a day can definitely help build attention skills.

I also did "Roomtime" which Preschoolwise recommends. I gave her a choice of a few activities she could play with independently upstairs in her room. She would have to play independently for a set amount of time. Preschoolwise says 45 minutes but I think that is a bit much. I did 15-30 minutes. With younger children (about 6 months and up) you can do the same sort of thing but in the Pack 'n Play. Just have one or two "activities" in the PNP and allow him to play independently (without you in DIRECT sight) for a set amount of time. If your baby hasn't been playing independently I would start on the really low side (5 min!) and then slowly work from there. Babies, especially around 9 months when separation anxiety kicks in, need to know that you are coming back. Both Roomtime and Pack 'n Play time allow your child to focus on just one or two things at a time, instead of running around aimlessly from activity to activity. It is never too early to start developing a good attention span....think about those college lecture halls! And it is always easier to start early than to try and fix a bad habit :)

Focusing: This goes hand in hand with attention span. This is the ability to focus on something without being distracted by your surroundings or other things going on around you. In a school setting, this is vital as there are distractions EVERYWHERE! Other kids talking, the pencil sharpener, the door opening and closing, you name it.

According to Ezzo, the ability to focus is developed by giving children time to play by themselves when given a set activity and set time limits. Ezzo says this playtime needs to be in a place where they are not easily distracted. I'm not sure about this. I think focusing on something when there is other stuff going on around you is something that needs to be practiced. Preschool is a great place to practice! Another way to practice is having your older child do a worksheet (or coloring, whatever activity you choose) with their other sibling in the room or while you are making dinner. Try to see if she can stay focused with pots clanging and siblings talking around her.

When kids are about 3, you can talk to them about focusing and explain to them they need to concentrate on the activity they are doing. I definitely struggle with this one with Brooke. She is VERY easily distracted. At tennis, her teacher will be showing her a backhand and she'll be staring at the football players walking out of the locker room nearby. Gentle reminding works well with her, too. Kids at age 3 are in such "imagination mode" they sometimes need a reminder to be brought back to the real world! :-)

Given there are no other major problems such as a learning disability, children who get enough sleep, have structure, a developed attention span and focusing skills WILL, more than likely, be quite successful in school. These are not easily developed skills especially if your child isn't inherently born with one or all of these skills! However, with work and practice YOU, the parent, can "train" your children on ALL of these skills. Like anything else in parenting, it might be tough, but the payoff will benefit them for the rest of their lives.

Being a P.C. Parent

It's not what you think. I don't care whether you're Politically Correct or not. I highly doubt that type of "PC" has any affect on your parenting abilities. The "PC" I am referring to is a reference in The Baby Whisperer series that stands for Patience and Consciousness--two skills that are absolutely essential to good parenting.

Patience: If you're a mom of a child of ANY age--from 4 weeks to 4,000 weeks, you understand that parenting demands patience. Some people, Pre-School and Kindergarten teachers in particular, are born with patience. They could have a classroom full of kids--some kids have decided it would be fun to paint each other green over at the art station, in the class library area two kids are screaming over a book, another kid just spilled an 1,000 piece puzzle, Susie is whining she has to go to the bathroom--and still this teacher is smiling and calmly speaking with a parent telling her that yes, Johnny is doing just GREAT in her class. Nothing ruffles her feathers. For the other 99% of us--patience is a learned skill.

I recently heard the quote, "With kids, the days are long but the years are short." If you take a step back from the daily hustle and bustle of parenting, it seems like days are weeks and weeks are years. I remember when I was in the midst of potty training Brooke. I was hunched over her potty chair begging her to poop and she simply refused. I remember being in TEARS thinking my kid is NEVER, EVER going to poop in the potty, convinced she'd be going to go to middle school with Pull Ups. Then a few days later, she pooped and I realized I had technically only been trying to potty train her for a little over a WEEK!! Why did it seem like 5 years??! And when you're in the heat of taking care of a newborn, why does it seem like it's taking a YEAR for them to sleep through the night when really, it's a few months or less??? Patience, my friend. This too shall pass.

When your kids get a little older, patience takes on a whole new meaning. Ever tried to leave the house with a 3 year old? Putting on shoes "by herself"=3 minutes. Going pee "by herself"=3 minutes. Get a drink or snack "by herself"=4 minutes. 10 minutes later you can FINALLY leave but then you realize that YOU have to pee and get a snack! Of course, you could do all of this for her-put on her shoes, take her to the potty and grab a snack in under a minute--and sometimes that is what you HAVE to do. But the majority of the time, kids should learn to do things for themselves. That's how they learn. They'll never learn to put their shoes on the right feet if you are constantly doing it for them. It's important for us to take a step back and not be in such a rush to rescue our kids at every moment. Our job as parents is to effectively guide our children, not to specifically show them the way every single time. Our lack of patience often gets in the way of everyday learning opportunities for our kids.

Consciousness: The word conscious is defined as "being aware of one's existence, thoughts and surroundings." As parents, we need to become extremely conscious of our little one's existence, thoughts and surroundings. That may seem like a no-brainer, but is it?

How well do you tune into your baby? Have you learned her cries, her quirks, what sets her off? What's her overall style? Content? Grumpy? Easygoing? Feisty? Touchy? Active? It's important to know our kids as who they ARE, not who we want them to be. Learn WHO your child is and appreciate, accept and nurture it. Learning this takes time and a heightened sense of awareness--something that cannot be accomplished if you're just going through the motions everyday. Slow down. OBSERVE. LISTEN to your kids. From the moment they come into the world, if you pay close attention they will tell you something about their personality every single day.

Being a conscious parent also means being aware of what you say and do with your child. How do you speak to your child? Is your tone generally that of respect? Or are you constantly trying to fix, criticize or correct your child? Do you take time to actually sit and talk with your child or are most of your days so busy you only have time "go through the motions" of school, soccer, dinner, homework, bath and bed? How much do you talk to your child? How much do you listen? How consistent are you with your child? Is his bedtime 7pm one day and 10pm the next? Do you give into his whining one day but not the other? Do you put him in timeout for talking back to you one day but let it slide the next?

The more you are aware of what you do as a parent, the better you will be able to troubleshoot various problems throughout your child's life. A (teeny) tiny part of me wishes I had an invisible camera crew around to record my interactions with my kids. I don't want to end up like the Gosslins, though so I guess I'll pass on the camera crew. I do however, try to reflect on my parenting everyday. I am my biggest critic. That's how we learn and get better at something. After all, none of us were born perfect parents. And none of us were born knowing how to BE a parent.

Our kids need our patience and their need us to be tuned into them (conscious). Both take practice but both can make us happier parents which in turn, make for happier kids.

Plane Travel with Little Ones Part 3: We all need a little Rx

When we hear doctors talk about the main risk factors for heart attacks we always hear about: diet, lack of exercise and genetics.

When traveling with kids, there are three main risk factors for meltdowns: hunger, fatigue and boredom. In my experience, these three predictors are applicable to all age groups (including adults!!!) Here are some of my personal travel tips to beat these three things that I have learned our own plane trips with Brooke and most recently Brooke and Will. I encourage everyone to post their favorite plane travel tips as well. It never hurts to have an arsenal of ideas before heading for the airport.

Hunger

Signs and symptoms of hunger include crying, tantrums and fatigue brought on by low blood sugar. This is the easiest risk factor to remedy. Here are my personal tips, all of which I have learned via trial and error:

- Always ARRIVE at the airport with a well-fed infant or child. Even if it means feeding baby quickly in the car before you enter the airport. It's never fun to hear "I'm huuuungrrrryyy" or deal with a crying, ravenous infant while you're barefoot in the security line.

- Pack food (duh!). For older kids and toddlers, this means preferably, food that is high in protein and low in sugar. And God forbid, no chocolate!! My favorite things to pack are 1) Frozen edamame (keeps everything cold and they thaw out in a couple of hours; packed with protein) 2) Low fat salami and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat rolls--protein!! Of course you could do turkey or ham as well. 3) Low sugar granola or snack bars. Brooke likes Odwalla bars. 4) Celery and peanut butter 5) Trail mix or dried fruit 6) Apple slices coated with lemon 6) Cheese cubes and crackers

- One of the best things we did on our last trip is eat as soon as we got off the plane. If you are flying in or out of an international airport, there are usually some pretty decent places to eat. We got some food and then walked to baggage claim where our luggage was waiting for us, instead of the other way around. The kids had their tummies full and we weren't scrambling to get them fed while battling 350 people at the luggage carousel. Plus, it was just a lot more relaxing to sit and regroup after the flight and Scott and I could eat some "real" food.

Boredom

Signs and symptoms of of boredom include whining, being less obedient than usual, pissing off other people and doing generally annoying things like coloring on the airplane windows.

If you are traveling with little ones in the Red Zone (age 7 months to about 2 1/2), this can be a tough one. Some boredom busters I've discovered are:

1) DVDs: Until about age 2 1/2, you won't get much use out of the DVD themselves but I still brought a portable DVD player and favorite DVDs. It at least bought us 15 minutes or so of "quiet time" when Brooke was under 2. She liked playing with the buttons!

2) Play "I Spy": With kids 2 1/2 and up you can do this anywhere. On the plane, in the car, in the ticket line. Just say I Spy something....red, blue, green etc. and have you child look for it. Then it's their turn to ask the question. You can also do it with any book or even the Sky Mall magazine:" I spy something you can cook with" or " spy something you wear on your head. " This kept Brooke entertained for at least a half an hour on our most recent flight and for a half hour when we were waiting to board.

3) Food: If your child is eating finger foods, bring along his favorite finger foods. Eating is a great way to pass the time! :-)

4 ) See and Say: We all know this toy. I got Brooke one when she was about 8 months and it was a smaller one that wasn't loud enough to annoy anyone sitting around us. It kept her entertained for quite awhile, given she was so young. It's really tough to entertain the 2 and under crowd, but give them some animal sounds and they're usually happy.

5) New toys: Bring along at least 3 new things your child has never seen before. If she's old enough to appreciate it, wrap them up so it's like a mini-Christmas! The Target dollar bin or the local dollar store items have worked well for us.

6) My least favorite-- walking up and down the aisles. But it's important to keep those little ones active! Even going to the nasty bathroom for a diaper change is at least 5-10 minutes of time passed! :-)

Fatigue

Signs and symptoms of fatigue include crying, screaming, yelling, rolling on the floor, whining and just generally being a pain in the ass, giving you the feeling that you may want to shoot yourself. In my opinion, fatigue is the most common reason for airplane meltdowns but it's the hardest to cure. You and I both know how tough it is to sleep on an airplane and your child feels the same way. When your child is overtired and cranky on the airplane, the best thing you can do is try to get them comfy so they can sleep. There are also a few things you can do to try and prevent fatigue:

- The day before you fly, try to make it a very low-key day for your child. Don't drag them all over creation so you can buy last minute travel items. Stay home, make sure they get a good nap in and to bed as early as possible.

- We've traveled at ALL different times of day and I've noticed that around 11am to 12pm seems to be a good flight departure time. You're not getting the kids up at the crack of dawn (unless you live a really long way from the airport) and it's close to an afternoon naptime, so if the stars are aligned, you have a good chance at getting them to take their afternoon nap on the plane. One important thing to note, I have tried many times to try get Brooke to run around the airport or get her up super early in order to tire her out so she'll sleep on the flight. Most every time, those ideas have backfired on me. Getting a kid riled up before the flight will most likely lead to her becoming OVER tired and not being able to sleep. By making things as calm, relaxing and normal as possible, you'll have a better shot at promoting her to take her regular nap.

- If you live more than a hour from the airport and have an early morning flight (9am or before) consider staying at a hotel right by the airport. Yes, it costs money but since when is having kids cheap?! We did this for our 9am flight back for California from Chicago and it worked out wonderfully. I highly recommend the Chicago O'Hare Hilton! A 5 minute stroll and you are in the Terminal! Plus, the kids got to wake up on their own time without me waking them at some God-awful hour.

There are tons more travel tips but these are the ones that have worked for us. Please post all of your best tips, too--I'm always looking for ways to make traveling easier. Especially since I have an up and coming Red-Zoner! :-)

Plane Travel with Little Ones Part 2: The Red Zone

Any of us who have traveled by plane with little ones know that it's not exactly something you look forward to. It's definitely a job that takes a a lot of patience and a great sense of humor. If you're like me and refuse to put your travel plans on hold until your little ones are of sane traveling age (which might never happen, by the way--depending on the temperament of your child!!), you'll find yourself on an airplane at some point during what I call, the infamous Red Zone.

The Red Zone is the most difficult age to travel with kids. From my experience, the Red Zone is when your child is approximately 7 months to 2 1/2 years. At these ages most kids are mobile in some way and just want to wiggle, run, walk, crawl, roll and/or explore. That, coupled with a very short attention span, and you get nothing at all conducive to plane travel! When traveling with kids in the Red Zone, it is very possible that not even the best travel advice in the world will not help. Face it- it might just be a complete disaster. While the behavior of your child may be beyond your control, there are a few things that you CAN control. You can:

1) Expect & Accept: Accept that your little one simply doesn't have the capacity to sit still at this age. Don't get mad at them, just expect they will be little wiggle worms and do your best. Having a sense of humor works, too.

2) Be Nice: Don't be that mom who let's their kid run screaming down the aisle or kick the chair of the poor soul in front of them. Even if things seem out of control, at least make an effort to gain control of your child. Most people appreciate a mom who makes an effort. But no one appreciates the mom who takes the attitude of "my kid can do no wrong." If your kid is kicking the seat in front of him, put a stop to it. Or at least apologize to the person sitting there. We as educated, common sense parents may think "OF COURSE I would do that." Well, that is because we're educated, common sense parents! I know from experience that some parents just let their kids run wild on the plane and think nothing of it.

3) Try your best to limit hassles. Of course, one can never completely eliminate hassles but some ways to limit them would be: 1) Limi luggage--try to pack your child's clothes with yours instead of bringing an extra suitcase just for them 2) Limit layovers (direct flights are worth a million bucks but I realize, it's not always possible!!), 3) Buy them a seat: if your baby is over the age of 6 months (give or take) buy them a seat. You can either bring the carseat and strap it in or just have the extra seat so your baby can stretch out. Don't skimp on this precious space--you will need it!! 4) Try your best to fly during non-peak days. For instance, the day before Thanksgiving (duh, but look at all the morons who do it!)

4) My personal fav, compliments of my sister in law: PRAY!!!!

There are 3 main risk factors for major meltdowns: hunger, fatigue and boredom. I'll have some remedies for each of those in Part 3...

Plane Travel with Little Ones: Part 1

I just returned from our annual trip to the Midwest to visit Scott's family--the first time with two kids in tow! To Scott and I both, it's extremely important for our kids to know their family on both sides. So it wouldn't matter if we had one kid or four, we would always make the effort to make this annual trip.

I will shamelessly admit that I was dreading this trip. I was really excited to see the family, don't get me wrong. BUT....the car seats, the changing diapers on the plane, the blowouts and of course--the God-forsaken security line with all the gel-and-liquid-declaring, shoe-taking off, laptop-taking-out and stroller-folding-up HELL. It's enough to make anyone never want to fly again. Yes my friends, before we left Scott and I dug in our heels, gritted our teeth and decided with a newborn and a (very) active 3 year old, that this was going to be the trip from hell. Not to mention since I have been on maternity leave, I have had both Brooke and Will on a pretty good schedule so of course, that was going to be thrown completely out of whack.

But as with many things in life, good things happen when you least expect them. It was the EASIEST trip I we have taken with kid(s)! In fact, we both wished we would have stayed longer! As I sat on the plane with an occupied 3 year old on one side of me and a sleeping baby on my arms I developed the following observations:

1) If you love to travel, having kids should not stop you. If you do some good planning-ahead, traveling with little ones doesn't always have to be a pain in the butt. My travel tips from this trip will be in the next blog and I hope everyone will share theirs as well!

2) Even if your plane travel with your little ones is a diarrhea, scream-fest, meltdown disaster, just grin and bear it. Look at it this way--more than likely, in 5 hours or less, it will all be over. Plus, it will make for some hilarious stories and blog posts! And you know what--when these little rascals are around 12 or 13, they'll refuse to be seen in public with you much less TRAVEL with you, so just laugh as you're changing the third blowout in 2 hours.

3) A stable, well-planned (ok, scheduled!!) home-life is an absolute Godsend when traveling with kids. More on that in the next post!

4) The more your kids travel, the more both you and your child will get used to the drill. And with each subsequent year your child gets older, the easier it gets: the first time we went to the Midwest with Brooke, she was 7 months and I didn't know what in the heck I was doing--tough. The second time, she was 18 months--tough age, meltdown central. The third time, she was 2 1/2 and it was much easier but not perfect. This time, she's 3 1/2 and although there were many kinks I still need to work out, it was pretty painless. She was taking off her shoes and walking through security like a pro.

5) Age of your kids definitely plays a part in ease of travel (0-6 months and 3-4 years and up seems to me to be the easiest). However unless you want your kids to completely put your travel life on hold, you need to suck it up. I for one, refuse to stay home for 5+ years until both of my kids are at a "sane" traveling age! If you follow "Babywise" philosophy, your children are an amazing ADDITION to your family life--but your life shouldn't completely revolve around them. So even if you think it might be a pain in the butt, give it a try. You could be missing out on a lot of fun! In fact, one of the most fun, relaxing "vacations" I have taken was a trip to Florida to visit Scott's grandparents when Brooke was about 16 months old.

So go for it!!!!

Preparing Your Child for Baby #2

When I found out I was pregnant with Will, I was thrilled. All I could think of was holding that little bundle of joy in my arms. After the initial excitement wore off, I started freaking out. So many things ran through my mind: Could we afford another one in daycare? Would I ever have any time to myself again? Could I possibly love anyone as much as I love Brooke? And more important, were we ready? Was Brooke ready? Right away, I began thinking about how exactly I would prepare Brooke for a new family member. I had a baby before--I knew the drill--diaper changing, midnight feedings, labor pains. But Brooke had never been through this experience before. I wanted her to be prepared and I also wanted her to be as excited as Scott and I were.

Since Baby Will was born, Brooke has never been anything short of amazing toward her little brother. She is caring, compassionate, helpful and patient with him. Some of this may have to do with her generally nurturing temperament, however I think there are certain things you can do to help your older child become a wonderful sibling:

1) Mind the Gap (age, that is): I understand things don't always work out perfectly when it comes to the timing of getting pregnant. However, if you can at all "plan" a time to have another baby, I believe the ideal age gap is around 3 years, give or take. Before age 3, children operate in very literal, concrete world. They can't even begin to grasp future events that they can't see. Therefore, trying to explain to a 1 year old, "you are going to have a little sister!" means about as much to them as telling them they will be rich and famous someday. They don't care--all they care about is how they are going to get the Oreos sitting on the counter behind you or when Barney is going to be on. When children turn 3, they enter the world of "fantasy." The primary type of play is make-believe. After age 3, the world of imagination opens up in children as their brains are now able to at least partially, begin to understand future events that have not yet taken place. You are also able to reason with a 3 year old. This comes in VERY handy when talking to them about their new sibling (see #2 below).

2) Talk, talk, talk: Even if your little one is not 3 years old and may not be able to quite grasp the concept of a new family member, it's OK. You can still talk, talk and talk to them about what their world is going to be like in a few months. I'm all about realistic parenting--i don't sugar coat too much. From the very beginning, we explained to Brooke that when the new baby came, Mommy and Daddy would not have quite as much time to spend with her as they do now because babies require lots of attention. We would find certain random moments during the day to casually mention this to her and would always follow it up with, "but Mommy and Daddy still love you very much and we'll still have our special time together." My favorite time to talk to her about the upcoming changes was during story time right before bed. I would say something like, "You know Mommy will have less time to spend with you when the baby comes, but story time is always OUR special time together." At first she just stared at me with a glazed-over look, but after a month or so, it started to sink in and she would ask me questions about the new baby. This was such a great way for us to communicate her feelings about what was about to happen.

3) Teach independence...NOW: Don't wait until the baby comes for you to say, "Mommy needs to feed the baby, go play." Parents who have not taught their kids how to play on their own or taught their kids any self-help skills will have a difficult time when Baby #2 arrives. This is especially true with kids younger than 2 who often have trouble entertaining themselves for long periods of time in general. If your first child hasn't learned to entertain herself, start teaching her immediately. Start with just 3-5 minutes of independent play--without you in the room. Make sure you give her something to do, don't just say, "go play." It could be a coloring page, a puzzle or legos. After they have mastered 5 minutes of independent play, add time in 5 minute increments until they are able to independently play for about 30 minutes. By the way, 30 minutes could take months or even years to master. Depending on her mood, my 3 year old still has trouble with 30 minutes without me in the room if she doesn't have a friend over or something really engaging to do. But it's a goal worth working toward.


If your little one is younger than 2'ish or you are concerned she will get into trouble :-), you could have "playpen time" where you leave baby in her playpen with some toys and allow her to play for a set amount of time WITHOUT you in the room. You can do this with a baby as young as 6 months and is great training when separation anxiety kicks in around 9 months. However, I wouldn't leave a baby who is just initially going through separation anxiety alone for more than about 5-10 minutes--they need to know that you are there for them. And of course, no matter what age, you should always be close by in case they do get into any "trouble." :-)

4) Read: Reading stories about new babies coming into families gives kids that concrete-ness they need to understand what is about to happen. See the links below for my favorite books on this topic.

5) Quality time: Once the baby arrives, be sure you spend good-quality, uninterrupted time with your first child every single day. It could be as little as 10 or 15 minutes, but you need to show your first child that they are still very much a part of your life--the world doesn't revolve around the baby. If you have your new baby on a routine, this becomes fairly easy since you know you will (for the most part) have set nap times.

6) Enlist their help, but don't force it: Make your first child feel like they are going to be a VITAL part of the new baby's arrival. And they are! Just making little comments like, "You are such a good helper! Wow--when the new baby comes, you'll be able to help so much!" See how they react. If they don't respond well, keep trying but never force them participate once the baby comes. Let her ease into her "new life" on her own time.

My favorite books to read with siblings-to-be:

I'm a Big Sister by Joanna Cole

I'm a Big Brother by Joanna Cole

The New Baby by Mister Rogers

The New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole and Margaret Miller

Because of You - sweetest book to read to both the sibling-to-be AND the new baby! I read this book to Will everyday when he was in the NICU!

What in the Heck Are You Feeding Your Kids?!

As a teacher, not only do I work with kids and get to know their learning styles, I also work with parents and I am exposed many, many parenting styles. These parenting styles are usually blatantly obvious and are reflected--loud and clear-- in the behavior of their kids. While parenting is a mystery to us all and no one is the perfect parent, there are certainly EASY things we can to do be better parents.

One of those things is being aware of the food we're feeding our kids. I work with students diagnosed with ADHD every day. By no means do I discount this diagnosis at all-it is definitely real and debilitating to many students. However, when I see the lunch boxes of these students composed of items such as soda, cookies, gummy candy (it says 100% of Vitamin C in the label!), chips, and candy bars, it makes me rethink some of the underlying causes of "hyperactivity." My mornings also start a Starbucks located near a local high school. I see freshman and sophomores (i know they are this age since their PARENTS accompany them, driving the car) ordering double mocha venti lattes and caramel frappachinos. Am I old school?? Tell me, am I?? I didn't have my first cup of coffee until I was a out of college, working as a slave in the advertising industry until 2 in the morning! I needed a boost! What 15 year old needs a venti of anything???

My point is: Parents, use a little Educated, Common Sense Parenting-action and get yourself some good recipe ideas so you can put some healthy food in your kids. Does it take a little longer to make a healthy lunch for your kid as opposed to throwing lunchables and soda into their backpack? Maybe, if you don't plan ahead. But you're a PARENT--by Week #6 of your baby's life, you should have learned that parenting takes a little patience--so get over it. But in the meantime, here are a few healthy lunch/meal/snack options for kids aged 2-102 (and they are ALL kid-tested by my 3 year old test-chef, Brookey!):

- Wine Country: Cheese cubes, whole wheat crackers, grapes, rolled pieces of lunch meat (turkey, ham, salami)

- Asian Invasion: Teryiaki chicken pieces, brown rice, shelled soybeans (edamame)

- Little Italy: Spaghetti and turkey meatballs (use leftovers from dinner!) OR make a meat sauce with tomatoes, ground turkey or lean beef and red/green pepper and serve with pieces of french bread for dipping

- Napa Valley Meets Tuscany: Caprece salad--sliced tomatoes and mozzarella, sprinkled with salt/pepper and basil, drizzled with a little bit of olive oil and balsamic vinegar

- California Cusine: Grilled chicken, avocado and lettuce rolled in a whole wheat tortilla and fresh fruit

- Baja Fresh: Refried black beans, ground turkey, brown rice, cheese, mild salsa wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla OR mix refried black beans, cheese, tomatoes and low fat sour cream together, serve with low fat tortilla chips for dipping.

- Middle Eastern: Hummus (Brookey's personal fav!) and whole wheat crackers or pita chips, grilled chicken/mayo/lettuce/tomato in a pita pocket

- Pasta Salad: curly pasta mixed with fresh veggies and low fat Italian dressing

- Smoothies: Mix 1 cup of fresh or frozen fruit (berries are great) and 1 cup of low fat vanilla yogurt in the blender

- Flowers and Grass: Add a few drops of green food coloring to whipped cream cheese, top with diced red pepper, serve on whole wheat crackers

Some of my favorite resources for cooking with kids:

- First Meals by Annabel Karmel
- Deceptively Delicious by Jessican Seinfeld
- Quick Fix Meals by Robin Miller
- Weelicious.com