Ask anyone who knows me as a mom and they'll tell you I don't always follow typical "rules" for parenting. I tossed out What to Expect When You're Expecting when I was 3 months pregnant (too stressful) and started Brooke on lowfat milk when she was 18 months--a definite no-no according to "the books." I definitely don't go too much "by the book" or rely too heavily on what "they" say. However, I do a heck of a lot of reading and research on parenting issues. Then I rely on what I call "Educated, Common Sense Parenting."
Educated, Common Sense Parenting is exactly what it sounds like--a parenting style that is based upon lots of research, reading, talking to people (the "Education" part) and then making decisions based on your own gut feelings and what works for your family (the "Common Sense" part). What Educated, Common Sense Parenting IS NOT is for example, is making the decision to put rice cereal in your baby's bottle just because your mom did it with you, therefore it should be fine. Before making that decision, you would have had to consult not only your doctor, but friends, other family members and yes, maybe even "the book." And don't assume everything your doctor says or what you read in the mainstream "What to Expect" books is what's right for you. Brooke's Doctor told her is was perfectly OK that she was eating at 3am when she was 5 months old. That definitely was NOT "right" for me!
This is what Educated, Common Sense Parenting IS: Take for instance, the issue of co-sleeping in the family bed. When making the decision to co-sleep, a parent should do their research. They should visit message boards, blogs, talk to friends, medical professionals and of course, read Dr. Sear's book. But then in the end, a common sense decision should be made. And in this case common sense SHOULD tell you....uh....you could crush your kid death!!! What the hell are you thinking??! I don't care what research says about "attachment parenting" building confidence in kids. Use your common sense here, people! Would you rather have an insecure kid or a pancake-flat kid? However, this decision was based on my being INFORMED on the issues. I know what attachment parenting is and I know what the pros of this parenting method are. But I am making my decision based on common sense. And THAT my friends, is Educated, Common Sense Parenting.
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I can't wait to read more!!!!!
ReplyDeleteyeah, duh!
ReplyDeleteThanks for creating this blog! Lord knows I will be posting my opinion as well. :)
I suppose I've been a follower of Educated Common Sense Parenting since I first learned I was pregnant. I talked to all of my friends, read blogs, books and spoke with my OB. I then made the decision that felt right for me, Matt and the baby. And now, I do the same as a real life mother! There's so much information out there and every mom is going to have her two cents to say on the subject ... but it's good! It's healthy to have discussions about how other people may do something that you don't and their reasoning why -- doesn't mean I am going to change my mind ... but it might.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, I don't care what people say but I 100% believe that a mother should breastfeed their child. And for how long; well, that is up for discussion but studies have shown that babies reap the benefits by six months. Additional time is butter.
Sure, a new mom may have issues with latching, milk production, infection, inverted nipples -- whatever. And, if that is the case, well ... that sucks. Good thing there's formula out there or your child would starve.
But if you have no problems and the only issue is that it takes too long, too much work or you want the father to be involved (through bottle feeding) all I have to say is ... hmmm. Are you sure you want to be a parent? I'm sure breastfeeding is going to be small potatoes to the other inconveniences your child will bring to your life. Try pumping.
I also don't believe in co-sleeping. My daughter was sleeping in her own crib in her own room by week 2. I don't really understand the whole point of those co-sleepers in the room. Perhaps it's because we have such a small apt here in NYC and walking from one end to the other of a 900 sq ft apt isn't all that bad. Some people's bedrooms are probably as big as our apt.
In any case -- great venue for healthy exchange! And, now I understand why you separated the two blogs from one another. :-)